Bemoaning men’s addiction to work is commonplace these days, but you only have to scratch the surface of this complaint to unearth some interesting contradictions. Yes, work is a serious business for men; men want to work, need to work, and get sick if they are deprived of work. So why their seeming obsession with work?
Doubtless, our evolutionary history has played a significant part. For human survival, men appear “hardwired” to work, with an action orientation, and a need to be a cause that brings about an effect. And, whilst most men derive dignity and meaning from constructive and creative work, even when work is sheer drudgery, dirty or dangerous, they’ll do it to be thought of as good providers. Perhaps that shouldn’t surprise us since as a society, we largely define men’s worth by their productive capacity – their ability to generate an income – and not just for themselves but for others (Hochschild, 1997).
Men are far more complained about when there is little cash to spend than when there is some to spare. And, in their competition for a marriage partner, women have always generally preferred men that are good earners, and, much more than men, have preferred to “marry up” rather than down (Buss, 2016). On these terms, men have little choice but to obsess about work. Begs the question: if men are expected to provide for others – and to be seen as good marriage material on the basis of their productive capacity, isn’t that a case of sex discrimination, at least by the standards of “equity and equality” demanded by our so‑called ‘enlightened society in all sorts of other ways?’.
Some would argue (while still being beneficiaries), that the whole notion of “providers” is outdated; however, research indicates otherwise. There is still a strong expectation that men should be principal breadwinners. A recent survey, Household Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia (HILDA), found that the majority of women want their men to work full‑time and are most satisfied when they themselves have the option of working part‑time or not at all. According to the survey, men too prefer to work full‑time but don’t mind if their partners work part‑time or don’t work at all (Wilkins, 2023). It would appear that traditional sex‑differentiated roles are alive and well (Ervin 2023; University of Melbourne 2018; AIFS 2021; O’Brien & Carney 2020; ONS 2019).
In Britain, large-scale survey and labour‑market data tell a similar story: although explicit endorsement of the statement that “a man’s job is to earn the money; a woman’s job is to look after the home and family” has declined over recent decades, most couple households with children still follow a “modified male‑breadwinner” pattern in which fathers are typically full‑time earners and mothers disproportionately work part‑time, and three years after childbirth around 69 per cent of families have a sole male earner or male breadwinner (NatCen Social Research 2023; GOV.UK 2019; ONS 2019).
In any Industrial Relations debate about what will most promote productivity, growth, and prosperity for the nation, do we spare a thought for what will be expected of working men? And is anyone considering the impact on men and their mental health, in the whole push for a casualised workforce?
Perhaps too many men do “live to work”, and that may not be healthy. But they often do it because of the demands on them to “work to live” – to provide the standard of living that has become a normative feature of British and Australian lifestyles. Perhaps that’s what we need to criticise and question.
Men aren’t bleating about being victims in all of this; they mostly see it as the natural order of things. But taking any cheap shots at them for their preoccupation with work is pretty glib and unfair, when you think about what’s expected of their role. Most men would readily concede that learning to leave work at work, to properly relax, and to nurture their relationships is important; and that children need their fathers to spend quality time with them and parent them. But work men must; it is expected of them; it is increasingly demanded of them.
References
Australian Institute of Family Studies. (2021). Families and work in Australia. Canberra, Australia: Author.
Ervin, M. (2023). Gender roles and labour expectations in contemporary Australia. Melbourne, Australia: University of Melbourne Press.
O’Brien, M., & Carney, C. (2020). Modern fatherhood and employment patterns. London, England: Social Policy Press.
Office for National Statistics. (2019). Families and the labour market, UK: 2019. London, England: Author.
University of Melbourne. (2018). Household work and gender expectations: A longitudinal review. Melbourne, Australia: Author.
NatCen Social Research. (2023). British social attitudes survey 40: Gender roles. London, England: Author.
HM Government. (2019). Employment statistics for UK households: Annual report. London, England: Author.
Wilkins, R. (2023). The HILDA survey: Selected findings. Melbourne, Australia: University of Melbourne.
Buss, D. (2016). Evolutionary psychology: The new science of the mind (5th ed.). New York, NY: Routledge.
Hochschild, A. R. (1997). The time bind: When work becomes home and home becomes work. New York, NY: Henry Holt.