The pace of change in modern life can be difficult to keep up with. It is widely thought to be a major factor associated with the deteriorating psychological wellbeing of Western societies. Of course, in reality, we’ve always had to live with a degree of change – including occasions of dramatic change. But these days change seems to have extended its reach and activity. It appears to be occurring more rapidly, and across more aspects of our lives simultaneously. Yet, such change is unavoidable and inescapable, and we must learn to face and cope with it, or else become its victim.
Coping with change first of all requires us to understand that it always involves some degree of loss (as the old gives way to the new) and consequent grief – grief that we must experience and deal with, not merely deny. Life simply can’t progress or flourish otherwise.
Though it is of course legitimate to resist some kinds of change, in other cases, where we’re resistant to even considering it, we may be doing ourselves no favours. Honestly acknowledging and courageously questioning these areas of resistance can be very revealing and may suggest options that need to be considered, despite being uncomfortable to contemplate. And aren’t unavoidable decisions better made now rather than being forced on us under pressure later on?
Without realizing it sometimes, we can become rigidly attached to certain ideas, assumptions, routines, familiar patterns and conventions – in the hope of maintaining life in a certain unchanged form; always trying to keep life predictable. But in the process, we can be unwittingly imprisoning ourselves within our own insecurities, retarding our growth in resilience, and undermining our capacity for vitality. As H.L. Mencken once said: “It is the dull man who is always sure, and the sure man who is always dull.”
The fact is that change can sometimes be a real tonic. It can lift us out of a rut and present us with an opportunity to experience living more fully and humanly in the present moment: where we taste, see, hear, feel, and experience things with a whole new interest and intensity; things previously neglected or overlooked.
Perhaps the most important strategy for coping with change is to get back to our core values, and to focus on the people and things of most importance to us. We may need to become far less attached to the material things that are increasingly so subject to change; instead, focusing more attention on cultivating whatever can nourish a stable sense of wellbeing, a sense of belonging, of caring and having others care about us. Properly nurtured, these things can provide us with the dependable inner resources to help keep life hopeful, meaningful, and functioning in perspective. They can provide us with “psychological buoyancy”, a place to go when we need to “catch our breath”, and the emotional resilience to avoid being intimidated or overwhelmed by change.