For men who have reached their senior years, there are often many life events that can leave them feeling low, irritable, or out of sorts — experiences that younger people are often unaware of. Older men may have to contend with retirement from the workforce, frustrating physical limitations, chronic or debilitating health conditions, bereavement, loss and grief, social isolation, and loneliness. Some must also adjust to home care or leaving their own home for residential care.
Any of these experiences can weigh heavily, emotionally and psychologically.
Persistent low mood is not a normal or inevitable part of ageing1. Nor is sustained depressive experience more common in community-dwelling older adults than in younger age groups2. While loneliness, illness, bereavement, and transition into care can trigger sustained changes in mood, being dominated by such changes should never be considered “just old age.”
When prolonged low mood is left unaddressed, it can seriously impair quality of life, undermine relationships, worsen physical health outcomes, and in some cases contribute to suicidal thinking3. Older men, in particular, are at increased risk of suicide compared with many other demographic groups4.
One difficulty is that persistent low mood in older men is often masked by physical symptoms or mistaken for “normal ageing.” Sleep disturbance, changes in appetite, withdrawal from social contact, reduced energy, or diminished concentration may be dismissed as age-related decline rather than recognised as potentially reversible psychological distress5. In some cases, mood disturbance may even be confused with early dementia, since both can affect memory and concentration6.
Importantly, many men do not describe themselves as “depressed.” They may speak instead of feeling frustrated, worn down, fed up, restless, or simply “not themselves.”7 For some men, distress is expressed more through irritability, anger, or physical symptoms than through overt sadness8
Common features of sustained low mood in older men may include:
- Loss of confidence
- Persistent tiredness
- Sleep disturbance
- Reduced enjoyment in usual activities
- Flat or irritable mood
- Apathy
- Neglect of personal care
- Withdrawal from family and friends
- Avoidance of social events
- Difficulty completing usual tasks
- Memory and concentration problems
- Acting out of character
- Increased irritability or anger
- Increased alcohol use
- Unexplained physical complaints
- Thoughts that life is no longer worth living
Growing older brings losses, adjustments, and limits — but persistent psychological suffering is not something men are simply expected to endure in silence. To feel low at times is human; to feel trapped in enduring despair is not an inevitable feature of ageing.
Older men deserve to be listened to seriously — not dismissed, medicated, or reduced to a label. When sustained low mood, withdrawal, or loss of vitality take hold, the wise course is not stoic resignation but thoughtful, relational support:
- A qualified psychologist or psychotherapist
- A skilled and experienced counsellor
- A trusted pastoral worker or spiritual director
A fuller exploration of this way of understanding and responding to psychological struggle is set out in Ashfield’s Take Charge of Your Mental Health9.
The aim is not to medicalise ageing, but to restore vitality, connection, meaning, and agency.
Old and grumpy, perhaps.
Old and depressed — not inevitably.
And certainly not beyond hope.
References
1. Royal College of Psychiatrists. Depression in Older Adults. London: RCPsych, 2022.
2. Blazer, D. G. ‘Depression in Late Life: Review and Commentary.’ Journal of Gerontology: Medical Sciences 58(3), 2003: 249–265.
3. World Health Organization. Depression and Other Common Mental Disorders: Global Health Estimates. Geneva: WHO, 2017.
4. Office for National Statistics. Suicides in the UK: 2023 Registrations. London: ONS, 2024.
5. Age UK. Later Life in the United Kingdom 2023 Factsheet. London: Age UK, 2023.
6. Fiske, A., Wetherell, J. L., & Gatz, M. ‘Depression in Older Adults.’ Annual Review of Clinical Psychology 5 (2009): 363–389.
7. Addis, M. E. ‘Gender and Depression in Men.’ Clinical Psychology: Science and Practice 15(3), 2008: 153–168.
8. Martin, L. A., et al. ‘The Masculine Depression Scale.’ Psychology of Men & Masculinity 14(3), 2013: 297–310.
9. Ashfield, John. Take Charge of Your Mental Health: An Owner’s Guide to Psychological Well-Being. Adelaide, South Australia: You Can Help Publishing, 2024.